Tag Archives: women

Inspiring the Uninspired

Wow guys, it’s been a while, eh? I’m not going to lie, it’s been a bit busy and when I would have a free minute, updating the blog wasn’t on my list of priorities. I was a little uninspired. I would get an idea, then days would go by and I just figured, eh, whatever.  I really want to do something with the blog, and keep it going, and have recently been inspired by a few entrepreneurial women, which is what brought me back today.

In a nutshell, my career has been at a bit of a standstill, and it gets me down. I did however bring to the table an “influencer marketing” initiative and have been working closely with social influencers, and through that, met some amazing women.

These women have chose a path that I’m envious of and inspired by. To see women throw themselves into building out a blog and a brand, not only sharing posts about pop culture, but branching out to speaking opportunities and book deals, is inspiring and feel so lucky that I have to opportunity to work with such smart women, and pick their brains.

Looking forward to an inspiring journey!

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Fashionably Late

I haven’t written a post in ages, I’m tardy to my own party. I’m so ashamed that  I refuse to even go back and see the date of my last post. I don’t even have a good excuse, life just got in the way. Work got busy, and, well a little emotionally exhausting, which didn’t leave me much room for creativity here.  I  am happy to say that not all of myself has been wrapped up in my career rut, I’ve been training to run my first ever half marathon!

For those keeping count, that is 13.1 miles, something I never, ever, would have , EVER, considered. Did I mention ever? If the high school me would have known I would go on to pick up running, I would have laughed till I cried.  Let me paint a picture for you: I was somewhat athletic growing up, I was a dancer, and in my prime, I was dancing about six days a week at about three hours at a time. I was not only a competitive dancer at my high school, I was also enrolled in dance classes outside of that. There were many a night where I was changing my clothes going from class to practice in the back seat of my parents’ car. Anyway, I was in shape, but when it came to running the mile for the fitness test every year, I just couldn’t. I had to run around the track FOUR times for it to equal a mile, and I couldn’t. I’d run the first length, get a pain in my side, and walk the rest. I was queen of the 20 minute mile.

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Which is why I can’t believe what I’m doing. I started getting the itch about two years ago, the year leading up to my 30th birthday. I had my 1/3 life crisis, and thought I needed to run while I can. Also, my best friend had started running that year, which really inspired me and gave me the courage to sign up for my first 5k.  From there I ran another 5k and two amazing 10ks, The Oakley Women 10k, and now I’m training for a half marathon.

Oakley Women's 10k

Working myself up to these isn’t the only reason I’m running a half. My husband came across an ad in the paper for the Rock n Roll Half Marathon in Brooklyn, the first time it’s coming to New York City, on my birthday. Steve offered it up as a birthday present, and I thought he was nuts. But then I couldn’t stop thinking about it. What better way to ring in my 32nd year than to accomplish this major fete, so I went back to him and said I’m in. He bought me and my bestie the entries, and I’ve been training ever since.

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I can’t believe that I’m sticking to this, and as of today, my furthest run is 10 miles! I sure have come a long way from the young girl who used to walk the mile in gym class. Long live the Queen!

 

Age-Shaming Women Without Children

I’ve always had an issue with people asking me when I’m having children. I find it not only to be an extremely personal question, but invasive. What happens when you ask someone this question who has been trying for years to get pregnant? What if you’re asking someone who just miscarried? Or someone who just had their third failed round of artificial insemination?  I can think of a myriad of other reasons, but I think I made myself clear.

I know we can’t control people, and there will always be people who are going to ask, but there’s certainly a tactful way to do it, and “age-shaming” is not the way to go about it. Exhibit A:

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I came home to this post on a Facebook pic of mine from one of my husband’s aunts (for those wondering, Kate’s my MIL).

When I saw this, I think my jaw dropped all the way through the earth to China. I was fuming…FUMING…I still kinda am. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I knew better than to respond because no good would come from that, so I thought I would just sleep it off.

But I didn’t. I woke up yesterday for my morning run, and it was all I could think about. The phrase, “Kate’s not getting any younger, and neither are you two” kept running through my mind. She not only brought my age into it, but my mother-in-law’s, which I had no idea could impact my pregnancy.

The age at which someone chooses to get pregnant, if at all, is a personal choice, and likely something said person has already taken into consideration. Frankly, I find it unacceptable and disgusting to insert unwanted opinions into such a personal life-decision, which is unique to everyone.

Morning, Laurie.

The Vocal Fry Trend

You might not know what vocal fry is, but you have definitely heard it. It’s that hard to miss voice you can hear from across the room: kind of whiney, kind of sounds like she’s asking a question, and extremely irritating.  The official definition of vocal fry is:

The low, vibratory sound that comes in some people’s speech, particularly at the end of sentences.

One of the best examples of it I can provide is this SNL sketch:

Nasim Pedrad does a better Kim Kardashian than Kim Kardashian!

This painful voice has become somewhat of a trend with females within the past year or so, and it usually is accompanied by some pretty horrible and annoying sayings like, “You know what I mean?” at the end of every sentence, even when talking about the most basic of things. Whenever someone I’m having a conversation with ends her sentence with that, it takes all of my willpower to not yell, “No! I have no idea what you mean!  Filling your car with gas was a pain-in-the-ass today because it was cold?! I just don’t get it!”

A lot of articles have been popping up lately about vocal fry and how it affects women in the workplace. One article in particular from Refinery29 called, “Is This Habit Making Women Hate You?” had me screaming, “yes!” in my head just from the title alone.

The article talks about a study that was done earlier this year about vocal fry and the interview process.  The outcome was what you would expect: Those speaking with vocal fry were negatively looked at regardless of the the listeners age and gender, however, the female listeners were much more harsh in their criticism towards the female vocal fry-ers.  The study concludes:

These results suggest young American women should avoid vocal fry in order to maximize labor-market perceptions, particularly when being interviewed by another woman.

Though I do consider vocal fry to be one of the worst sounds, right up there with loud chewers and nails on a chalkboard, the last thing we need as women is more female-on-female hate in corporate America.  As women, we should aim to look past the bothersome vocal fry and see women as the smart, hard-workers they truly are.

Measuring Self Worth

Now that I’m officially a woman in her thirties, the internal conversation about my self-worth plays on repeat in my head. A checklist of milestones roll through my brain and I suddenly find myself in the midst of an existential breakdown on a daily basis. The word that is a key player in all of this is, “success.” It’s one he’ll of a scary word, with a heavy meaning, and something that is measured differently by everyone.

Sometimes, I come home from a frustrating day of work, and bitch and moan to my husband about this, that, and the other thing, my day, my job, my career path, and always close out my complaining calling myself a failure. I’m unsuccessful. He tries to talk me off the ledge by telling me how successful I am in my personal life, with a loving family, an awesome husband, an affordable and nice apartment, and an overall great support system. He stresses to me that i shouldn’t focus all of my attention in one aspect in my life, I agree, but that one aspect, just brings my whole mood down, especially since I spend more time there than anywhere else.

Next on my existential crisis bucket list is starting a family. I’m 31 years old and I’m more than aware that I, “still have time,” to get pregnant, but yet everyone around me, younger even, are popping them out like a slot machine hitting the jackpot. Then I get into the thoughts of, “what if by the time I’m ready it’s too late?” And, “Will I be a failure of a female if I never become a mom?”

These two topics lay on my shoulders like a ton of bricks, and am constantly measuring my self-worth and success based on these two huge aspects if my life. I want to have it all, and I know I can, but when? This time seems to be a weird limbo period in my career and personal life, and it’s emotionally draining. Part of me blames social media and part of me blames social norms for feeling like this.

Sometimes, I Run

Something I did when I took an accidental hiatus from the blog was run my first 10k!  I participated in NYRR’s (New York Road Runners) Oakley Women’s Mini 10k!

I’m really not much of a runner. One of my best friends started running last year (she’s the one who talked me into running the 10k) – she trained and ran a half marathon right off the bat. Her experience inspired me, but I wanted to start off slow, and began training for a 5k.

I learned a lot about myself last year when I really was in the thick of it. It’s all mental! You are your own competitor. There were times it was difficult. When I would run off the track after 2 miles and sit under a tree thinking, “What did I get myself into?!” Then there were times when it was rejuvenating, especially a rainy summer run! But at the end of it all I was able to run 5k.

This year – I didn’t train as hard even though I knew I had to run double, and I did get a little hard on myself when I saw my results, but I never stopped running. I might have been slow, but I did it! I even have a medal to show for it!

The Oakley Mini 10k is an all women’s race. Women of all shapes, sizes, colors, and age, all coming together and pounding pavement. It was such a positive experience. That moment when I thought I couldn’t keep going, I would look to my left and see an older women still at it, or to my right and see two friends encouraging each other.

My favorite moment was at the 6 mile mark, when the spectators were really cheering and offering up high fives – and I took every opportunity to give everyone five!

Crossing the finish line was exhilarating and an exhausting experience. Looking forward to doing it again next year!

NYRR Oakley Mini 10k

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