Tag Archives: premature

Back to My Roots

I’ve always loved writing. I’m not the best speaker and found writing really allows for me to express my thoughts and feelings.

I’ve been somewhat uninspired over the last few years. Sure, I’d write on the blog, but it wasn’t until I had my daughter did I really feel passionate about a topic to write about. You guessed it – everything about being a mommy!

I’m not the most serious of people, but did manage to squeeze out some emotions in my Babble piece about having a preemie. So, I’ve continued to write – sometimes serious, sometimes tongue-in-cheek, and found a great outlet in the Red Tricycle Spoke Contributor Network!

I’m really excited to share my thoughts and experiences on this wonderful platform! Here are my first two pieces:

My Gestational Diabetes Ignorance

Six Reasons It’s Time For Some “Me Time”

Hope you enjoy reading my pieces as much as I enjoy writing them!

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Dear 2016…

You sick son of a bitch.

Not only did you claim the coolest celebrities like David Bowie and Prince, but you also turned the United States of America into a trashy reality television show.

You challenged me in ways I never thought possible. You changed my life’s narrative. The dreams I had for this year all took sharp left turns, and am left with lessons and stories to look back on to laugh and cry about.

2015 ended with me newly pregnant and a retired father on the verge of 69. I was elated my parents would be able to enjoy their new grandchild in the new year any day of the week. But 2016 laughed in my face and my mother was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.

Once she healed from her hysterectomy, she was slated to start chemo a little over a month after that – June 13th.  She’d be smack in the middle of chemo around the time my baby was due, August 1st, and wanted more than anything for my mother to be able to hold my newborn. We were really unsure what her status would be at that point.  Her “last hurrah” so-to-speak was my baby shower on June 11th. She was no longer able to plan it, and was unsure if she would be up to even attend. But she did, and I was thrilled.

In a surprising turn of events, in the early morning hours of June 12th, my water broke and I gave birth to Sloane seven weeks early. You sneaky bastard, 2016. At least mom was able to get in some time with her new granddaughter before starting treatment!

Sloane spent 10 days in the NICU, and mom was not only able to see her the day she was born, but was well enough the next day after chemo to make another visit. Unfortunately that turned out to be the last day she got to see her for about two months. She had a bad reaction to her second day of treatment and became severely dehydrated and almost went into kidney failure. I was in the NICU with Sloane when my dad texted to tell me that mommy was in the hospital.

And there I was in the NICU with my newborn while my mom was in another hospital a few miles away. All I wanted was my mommy, but this was the first time I was a mommy, and my baby needed me. I learned only days into motherhood what my priority was, and my mom was understanding that I didn’t come see her in the hospital, she echoed my sentiments that Sloane is my priority. I called her everyday, though, crying, and giving updates on Sloane and getting updates on her.

As much as I’d like to give the middle finger to 2016, I’d also like to say “thank you.” Thank you for throwing me these situations. While I would have preferred they didn’t overlap, I’m grateful to have walked away from this year knowing my strength.

With that said, I leave you with Christina Aguilera’s Fighter:

 

 

 

I’m A Mom!

It’s been a while! Here’s what I did on my “summer vacation:” I had a baby!  Sloane Raven Sage was born June 12, 2016…Seven. Weeks. Early.

Let me start at the beginning…

I had a pretty easy pregnancy, no major complaints, that is until my glucose test. I went into it under the impression that I had nothing to worry about. I ate fairly well (better than most of my other pregnant friends who didn’t have gestational diabetes [GD]), continued my pre-pregnancy workout regime of yoga and spin classes, and gained the right amount weight. When my initial test came back abnormal, I was shocked. When I went in for my three-hour glucose test, I was beyond nervous, and then devastated days later when I was diagnosed with GD. I have to say, my numbers were extremely borderline, but I’m told that does not matter when it comes to GD. Once I received the diagnosis, I had to set up appointments with the nutritionist to set up an eating plan and then learn how to test my blood.

Turns out these appointments were classes. The eating plan class was beyond overwhelming. I walked out defeated and crying. I basically had to relearn how to eat. Five meals a day, and making sure I paired my carbs with proteins. I’m a vegetarian on top of it all, so there was the extra layer of difficulty. Luckily, my husband is extremely health-conscience, and helped me with my meal plan and measuring everything out. My fears quickly eased and I felt much better.

Fast forward a week later, and I was in class learning how to test my blood. I was under the impression that it was something I was going to have to do six times a day. Turns out it was only four. Four was still a lot! Anyway, I was actually extremely nervous to prick myself. The finger tests always hurt so much! It took a few tries in class to actually get the blood, but I got it, and it was painless.

Now I was all set up on my fancy new app MySugrPro, and logging my carbs and blood sugar. It was thrilling to see my numbers in check and that eating well was paying off. It was still very stressful! Every piece of food I looked at was a number. I’d see a piece of fruit on a coworker’s desk and think, “I hope she pairs that with a protein!” I was completely consumed!

June 11, 2016: My baby shower!

baby girl shower

What a great day! My husband and best friend planned an amazing shower for me after a struggle with who would be able to put it together. Not long after we had booked it, my mom was unfortunately diagnosed with ovarian cancer and was scheduled for a hysterectomy shortly. We went back and forth as to if we should keep the shower, and mom was adamant that we move forward with it. She wanted to continue to help, but it really wasn’t feasible. The day was beautiful, spent with family and friends, with great food, and a fun photobooth!

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When we finally shlepped everything home, I took a nap while Steve put together the baby’s dresser. We then went grocery shopping, ate dinner and went to sleep.

At 1:30 AM, I got up to pee, as I typically did as a very pregnant lady. When I stood up, I peed a little. I brushed it off as, “Third Trimester Problems” and went to the bathroom. There was a tiny bit of blood, but I talked myself down from that, as well, since I bled in the first trimester. Went back to bed, and got right back up because it felt like I had to poop. Did my thing, went back to bed, and got right back up again. This went on for about 45 minutes, while Steve was sitting there Googling if it’s labor. Finally, I got back into bed, and couldn’t get comfortable, and that’s when I told Steve to call my doctor, who said to go the hospital.

The car ride over to the hospital was about 20 minutes, and I was definitely having contractions. Steve was timing them. When we got to the hospital, I went straight to the bathroom, where there was a ton of blood. After signing in, the nurses took me to the examining room where I was told I was 2cm dilated. They gave me magnesium and told me, “This is to stop the labor, but, it might not work.” The “might not work” part was stated over and over, and good thing, because it didn’t work.

I was taken to labor and delivery where I was told I was now 8cm dilated and I asked for my epidural. Just in time, right?! I feel like it took the anesthesiologist forever to come to the room and give it to me. Finally, the Dr. came in and said, “You’re fully dilated, plus one. You’re ready to push!”  The “plus one” threw me off, but OMG, I was about to push! I started at 6:45AM…and at 8:45AM, she finally came out!

They had the NICU staff on call since she was a 32-weeker (Guys, I was one day away from 33 weeks, and they kept referring to her as a 32-weeker. Drove me crazy!) They took her to the table where they were working on her (my husband didn’t get to cut the umbilical cord), it felt like an eternity, till finally they brought her over and said she’s fine! She was placed on my chest for about 30 seconds before bringing her down to the NICU. She needed no help breathing, but, obviously needed immediate attention.

Once they brought her down, they weighed her and measured her: 4lbs 7oz, 18 inches long, and was doing well! My husband was able to go down a few hours before me, and sent me tons of pictures in the meantime. It was sad to see her hooked up to so many wires, but I was still relieved to hear that she was OK!

We spent the next 10 days on pins and needles in the NICU.  As I mentioned earlier, we live about 20 minutes from the hospital, which isn’t bad, but were lucky enough to get set up next door at the Ronald McDonald House. At first I was super- uncomfortable about it because there were surely people more in need of it than us, but was told we wouldn’t have been given a room if that was the case. It was great because we stayed in the hospital till about 11pm and I walked over every morning for her 5:30am feeding.

Every morning was nerve-wracking. I’d walk in every day and ask the nurse, “How’d she do?!” Some days I’d get glowing reviews of how well she ate, other days she’d be back in the isolette, or back under phototherapy, and one day, they even had a feeding tube in her nose just in case. Good news: She never used it! Overall, she had pretty standard preemie issues: not holding her weight (she dropped down to 3lbs 9oz), not holding her body temperature, and jaundice.

As the days went by, as eager as I was to bring her home, the more nervous I got. Did you know they don’t send babies home based on weight anymore? We took her home at 4lbs 3oz! She needed to prove a few things before coming home: gaining weight without the fortifier, hold her temperature, and pass a car seat test. To this day, car seats still freak me out because of it. In case you’re wondering what it is. They place babies in the car seat for 90 minutes, and monitor them. If their heart rate drops below a certain point during those 90 minutes, they wait 24 hours, and try again. She passed on her first try. Honestly, I was shocked! I was so proud that she had passed her first ever test, though!

Nothing can ever prepare you for having a baby, especially a preemie, and then bringing that baby home! The love and support from friends and family, as well as everyone at Cohen’s Children’s Hospital where we were, and the Ronald McDonald House really helped us get through it! Sloane will be four months next week, is around 12 pounds, and is a happy and healthy baby!

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