Tag Archives: listicles

Eight Thoughts I Have While Using The NoseFrida

You’re sharing cuddles wth your baby when all of a sudden it sounds like a little piglet entered the room. Upon further investigation, you realize it was your little cutie pie who’s all stuffed up. Time to get the NoseFrida out!

Nose Frida

When a friend of mine first told me about this product that I “had to get” when I was doing my registry, I quickly added it to both my Amazon and Target registries, but then I looked it up. You suck the snot out of your baby’s nose! EW! I was quick to dismiss it, and put on a regular bulb instead.

It wasn’t until my baby shower, a relative of mine actually had hers there and demonstrated on her baby. The boogies don’t come anywhere near your mouth, and it’s way more functionable than the bulb.  I put it back on my registry to remember to purchase it down the road when baby arrived.

Ever since buying it, I’ve had a love/hate relationship with it. It gets the job done really well so mommy loves it, but Sloane is a giant wiggle worm.  I’ve turned it into somewhat of a production, telling my six month old that she’s, “getting a visit from Auntie Frida,” and usually follow it up with “because she’s hungry,” or “she wants to eat your boogies!” Yeah, I know, she doesn’t understand what I’m saying, but her face still lights up. By the way, the Aunt Frida reference is because I had a Great Aunt Freida growing up!

Like I said, it’s a production! Here are eight thoughts that go through my head as I’m NoseFrida-ing her:

  1. It’s that time…I hope this goes well! maekg
  2. Please, no wiggling! wiggling baby
  3. And, let’s keep the screaming to a minimum. Pretty little liars aria
  4. OK, so far so good. whew
  5. How have I gotten nothing out so far? louis-c-k
  6. Oh, wait. Here it comes. tumblr_inline_noa26r9rbm1qezleh_500
  7. OMG, look at those boogies! nene leakes
  8. SUCCESS! brush your shoulders off

 

Six Things Vegetarians Are Sick of Hearing on Thanksgiving

I’ve been a vegetarian for over a decade, yet every Thanksgiving  my family is still shocked and confused that I don’t partake in turkey at dinner. Here’s a list for you omnivores on what your vegan/vegetarian family members are sick of hearing on this carcass-focused holiday!

“Come on, just a little slice won’t hurt!”

mean girls pusher

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What part of I’m a vegetarian don’t you understand?

“Are the sides really gonna fill you?”

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The five million sides of starch? I should be cool.

“Can I try your Tofurkey?”

one direction feeding each other

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Of course!

…And after they try it: “Ew! How do you eat that?!”

mama june

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Honestly, I think the same thing about your main dish, but I have tact.

“Don’t you miss it?”

blanche

 

 

 

 

 

Seriously?

“Maybe next year you’ll change your mind.”

beyonce

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Keep dreaming, grandma!

The 17 Stages of Buying New Heels

I’m convinced there’s a hidden device on high heel shoes that makes them so comfortable when you try them on in the store, but the second you put them on in real life they are the most painful things to ever touch your feet. With that thought I give you the 17 stages of buying high heels!

1) I’m not going to buy anything today, I’ll just browse:

wall of shoes

2) Ohhhh, these are cuuuuuute!

shoes kelly

3) I really shouldn’t be buying anything so I’m not going to try them on

4) Eh, what the hell?

5) Yep, they look great!

6) Oh man, AND they’re comfortable?!

7) Well, they’re only $50. I can handle that.

8) Right? I mean, I just got paid

9) And I work really hard. I deserve these!

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10) little girl cash register

11) I’m gonna wear my new shoes today!

Rachel Zoe Closet

12) I feel so hot in these shoes!

13) Um, why is the material so uncomfortable? It didn’t feel like this when I tried them on.

14) I feel like my toes are going to fall off.

15) OMG MY FEET!

16)

17)


Things All Fake Blondes Know to be True

Being blonde really is more fun, but the road there is a hairy bitch!

You’re bored with your look and think blonde highlights sound like fun!

You let the hairdresser know you want them subtle – no zebra-looking hair

While under the drier you’re super excited about your new look

But while flipping through the latest issue of Glamour, realize just how cute Zooey Deschanel is with her brunette locks and for a split second doubt yourself

zooey deschanel

 

 

 

 

All doubt fades when your hairdresser starts blowdrying your golden, sun-kissed locks

blow drying hair

And when she’s done, you take one look in the mirror and you feel like a goddess

Your friends and family fawn over how great you look

mean girls

You go about your life feeling wonderful until your roots start to grow in

roots

You call to make an appointment for a touch-up, but your favorite stylist isn’t available for another month

It’s finally time for your appointment and your hairdresser is disgusted, and practically shoves you in her chair

When she’s done you realize you’re blonder than before…And you LOVE IT

blonde is a lifestyle

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The upkeep becomes pricey, time-consuming, and the chemicals wreak havoc on what’s left of your hair, but you wouldn’t have it any other way as being blonde makes you feel best!

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