Tag Archives: listicle

Eight Thoughts I Have While Using The NoseFrida

You’re sharing cuddles wth your baby when all of a sudden it sounds like a little piglet entered the room. Upon further investigation, you realize it was your little cutie pie who’s all stuffed up. Time to get the NoseFrida out!

Nose Frida

When a friend of mine first told me about this product that I “had to get” when I was doing my registry, I quickly added it to both my Amazon and Target registries, but then I looked it up. You suck the snot out of your baby’s nose! EW! I was quick to dismiss it, and put on a regular bulb instead.

It wasn’t until my baby shower, a relative of mine actually had hers there and demonstrated on her baby. The boogies don’t come anywhere near your mouth, and it’s way more functionable than the bulb.  I put it back on my registry to remember to purchase it down the road when baby arrived.

Ever since buying it, I’ve had a love/hate relationship with it. It gets the job done really well so mommy loves it, but Sloane is a giant wiggle worm.  I’ve turned it into somewhat of a production, telling my six month old that she’s, “getting a visit from Auntie Frida,” and usually follow it up with “because she’s hungry,” or “she wants to eat your boogies!” Yeah, I know, she doesn’t understand what I’m saying, but her face still lights up. By the way, the Aunt Frida reference is because I had a Great Aunt Freida growing up!

Like I said, it’s a production! Here are eight thoughts that go through my head as I’m NoseFrida-ing her:

  1. It’s that time…I hope this goes well! maekg
  2. Please, no wiggling! wiggling baby
  3. And, let’s keep the screaming to a minimum. Pretty little liars aria
  4. OK, so far so good. whew
  5. How have I gotten nothing out so far? louis-c-k
  6. Oh, wait. Here it comes. tumblr_inline_noa26r9rbm1qezleh_500
  7. OMG, look at those boogies! nene leakes
  8. SUCCESS! brush your shoulders off

 

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Six Things Vegetarians Are Sick of Hearing on Thanksgiving

I’ve been a vegetarian for over a decade, yet every Thanksgiving  my family is still shocked and confused that I don’t partake in turkey at dinner. Here’s a list for you omnivores on what your vegan/vegetarian family members are sick of hearing on this carcass-focused holiday!

“Come on, just a little slice won’t hurt!”

mean girls pusher

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What part of I’m a vegetarian don’t you understand?

“Are the sides really gonna fill you?”

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The five million sides of starch? I should be cool.

“Can I try your Tofurkey?”

one direction feeding each other

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Of course!

…And after they try it: “Ew! How do you eat that?!”

mama june

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Honestly, I think the same thing about your main dish, but I have tact.

“Don’t you miss it?”

blanche

 

 

 

 

 

Seriously?

“Maybe next year you’ll change your mind.”

beyonce

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Keep dreaming, grandma!

Guys…I’m Back…And I Got Jokes!

Wow – what a hiatus! I don’t even have anything interesting to report on. Just super-busy at work, so much so, that I’ve been bringing it home on the weekends. The only interesting thing really happening is that I started running again – I’ll be doing the Oakley Women’s 10k in June, and thought it sounded like fun (I may be a masochist) to run a half marathon on my birthday in October. Now that’s how you celebrate thirty-fuckin’-two!

I thought of a good post yesterday, which is why I’m returning today. I love my husband to pieces, and even after almost four years of marriage and almost five years of cohab, I still can’t get over how gross it is to live with boys. I grew up an only child, and my dad is a pretty prim-and-propper man, so I never had to deal with the toilet seat up, snot rockets or loud hacking sounds on a daily basis. I thought I’d defy all only-children stereotypes, and share with you my life with him on a daily basis:

When I think I smell my husband’s fart:

When I ask him if he farted:

That moment he realizes he needs to talk to me after he just shoveled food in his mouth:

My face after he hocks and spits in public:

And my face when he shoots a snot rocket in public:

When he burps over me speaking:

When I realize even though he’s gross I’m the luckiest girl in the world:


Morning, Laurie.